How do you know when your man is lying to you?
I’ve known people, just in general, who would try to fib and it was so obvious.
And then I’ve known people that were such good liars, I couldn’t tell they were lying even if I knew they had to be!
Some people are just naturally better liars, or maybe they practice.
We all know some co-workers or friends who like to stretch the truth. It doesn’t always seem like too big of a deal, but it can be heartbreaking and hurtful in a relationship.
Honesty is the foundation for a healthy relationship, so it’s critical to be honest, and also to be able to trust your partner.
And let’s be honest, if we love someone, we really want to believe them. We have to get over a big hurdle just to be able to acknowledge that they might hurt us that way.
And your man might be lying to you thinking it’s better to hide things and not hurt you. But we know the truth is the best option.
But how do you know when he’s lying? Are there any giveaways?
Science says there are…
His Details Don’t Add Up
Liars will eventually mess up. They’ll be pretty convincing, but sometimes you’ll walk away and realize his story doesn’t really make sense.
Maybe it’s not enough to question him about, but your gut says something feels off.
You’re probably right.
Step back and ask yourself if what he’s saying is actually believable, or if you’ve been accepting something because you didn’t like the alternative or don’t want a fight.
If you think the details he tells you don’t add up on a continuous basis, it might be time to talk to him about it or check into things.
He flips from his normal Quiet or Talkative Self to the opposite
If your guy is normally chatty, but becomes more and more quiet, something could be up and he might be hiding something.
On the flip side, if your normally quiet guy gets very talkative, it could mean the same thing.
Now, it could be that he’s suddenly quiet over something that he’s not really lying about, like being stressed about work or something else.
And he might get super talkative because he’s excited.
So the clue is really in the details, as in how many details.
If he is being vague on details when he normally tells you all about things, that can be a warning sign that he’s lying or hiding something.
And if he normally isn’t chatty and full of details about work or something else, and suddenly is, he might be making up stories, worried about covering something up.
So think about how much detail he is giving you compared to his usual self.
And, with all of these tips, it’s good to look at the entire picture and not one item, so see if he has any of the other warning signs as well.
He Keeps Things too Light
People who are excited about their relationship and their partner love to share things. Think about all you talked about early on.
If he pulls back from topics or even says he doesn’t want to talk about it, take warning.
It might not mean he’s lying to you, but it can if he ever stonewalls you, gets out of conversations, and starts keeping his personal life and thoughts shut away from you.
He’s Hiding Things or Covering his Tracks
This is a huge red warning sign. These include:
- There are times when you can’t reach him (and you normally could or it would be reasonable for him to text back).
- He deletes browsing history and keeps things locked so you can’t see them.
- He shuts computer windows or turns off his phone the second you walk into the room.
Physical Signs of Lying
You might even catch him in the act of lying to you if you spot these signs:
- He pauses before answering your questions
- He blinks more than usual, like 5 or 6 times quickly while explaining something (that is a lie)
- He seems to laugh, think, or look distracted right before answering, acting like he doesn’t quite remember
- He won’t look you in the eye
- He becomes fidgety
- He stutters
- Becomes angry
- Points the finger back at you – constantly blaming you is a big warning
- He repeats his story – when people lie, they embellish a simple story and nervously retell it several times
- He has a ready answer for everything, even if it seems like something he wouldn’t have thought about
- For some people, touching their face more than usual means they’re laying
- Some people will even shake their head while lying – they don’t realize that they’re body language is pointing out that they’re telling a lie
Now, there are times when everyone has an off day, or your man might be going through something.
Seeing a sign that he’s lying doesn’t mean that he is. Look for more than one sign, and for patterns.
If you’re worried your significant other is lying to you, and they won’t try to have a useful discussion about it, that’s another bad warning sign.
Hopefully some open communication will find out what’s going on.