Many women know the pain of being cheated on. It really makes you wonder why men do it.

The sad part is, the man often says he loves the woman he is cheating on, and doesn’t want to leave her.

So, again, why?

Kelly spent five years in a relationship with a man who texted with lots of other women. She caught him early on and thought the problem was fixed, but she caught him again a year later after they were married.

The issue persisted until she finally left the relationship.

She tried talking to him about it because she really wanted to make things work, but he would just get quiet.

In the end, he finally started defending himself, saying that he wasn’t cheating, and she was over-reacting to a little flirting.

Which leads us to the first reason men cheat…

They Don’t Think They Are

Some men have somehow convinced themselves that what they’re doing is okay.

That might be because they didn’t like feeling guilty, or because they realized they could get away with it.

Some men think that getting a lap dance isn’t cheating, that it’s just good old fashioned fun.

Other men acknowledge that a lap dance is wrong because it’s in person with a real woman. But those men might go to chat rooms, or cheat online with people they aren’t meeting in person.

Other men still think it’s okay to flirt and spend time around other women, if they’re not having actual sex.

That’s what happened in Kelly’s case. Her boyfriend, then husband, flirted and got numbers from all kinds of women.

He didn’t consider it cheating to text with them or flirt in person.

You could say, on a simple level, that the problem is a difference in belief about what is okay and what isn’t in a relationship.

Men Believe They’re Wired to Cheat

Some men say that any guy will cheat  if he gets the opportunity.

It’s because they’re compelled by a biological imperative to have sex with as many women as possible.

Is that true?

Well, studies have found that certain personalities are more likely to cheat, and men in certain circumstances are.

Does that mean they have to? No.

And does that mean that you have to stay in a relationship with a man who believes it’s his right to cheat? A definite no.

They Blame You

Isn’t that the lowest? They hurt you and then blame you for it.

Men will say they’re not getting enough sex at home.

Or that their wife gained weight, or wasn’t as nice and attentive, so it’s her fault.

Some men will say women change in relationships, nagging them and growing to treat them badly.

That could be true, but does one wrong right another?

Men think they deserve it

He’ll say that his job and life is super stressful so he needs a release.

They work hard and support the family, so they deserve to have their fun.

Well, maybe he should consider if you work hard too, and if you need some side fun… He might not like that idea!

Everyone Does it

Yes, teenagers try this on their parents and men try this excuse to make themselves feel better.

Men will even say, “My dad had magazines and even went to strip clubs, and his marriage was fine.”

They cite all the porn online and say that all men look at porn, flirt with other women, and cheat if given the opportunity.

If your man tell you this excuse, ask him, “Am I in a relationship with all those other men? Or with you? And how do YOU and to treat ME?”

They’re Filling a Real Need

It seems that men will cheat and make up any excuse or reason, but we should probably acknowledge that sometimes it’s not just them having fun.

It’s still not right, but when men feel under appreciated, or their wife has grown distant, they’ll look elsewhere for that connection.

Women do it too.

This reason is a little different, in my mind, because it means a two things:

• The man had a want or need and couldn’t get it fulfilled at home
• And it could be fixable.

With the other reasons, the man is being selfish. He thinks he’s entitled to cheat or has no choice in the matter.

When he’s hurting or looking for romance and friendship, there’s a chance that the marriage issues can be fixed.

Of course, you have to get over the pain of being cheated on and rebuild trust, and that’s not always possible.

And I’m not saying you should always try to fix things after he cheats on you.

Men will cheat for various reasons. A possible solution is to have open communication in a relationship so both parties agree about what it’s right and wrong.

After that, if someone breaks the agreed limits in your relationship, there isn’t an excuse. They choose to do something and the other party will have to decide if it’s worth fixing or time to move on.