Some people are looking for “the one”…
…and other people are looking for “the funnest one tonight.”
The problem with that is when two people are looking for different things.
And the real issue with that? People aren’t honest about what they’re looking for!
A man might keep you around, string you along, and give you just enough hope to stick around.
Or, he’s being vague and you are trying to see what you want to.
It’s possible he’s even being honest, but you’re not hearing what he really means.
Some men know they have keep giving you excuses about not committing, and you’ll stick around anyway.
You keep wondering why he won’t commit, but his actions will tell you.
Here’s excuses men will give for not committing and what they really mean.
He doesn’t want anything serious.
He means he wants all the perks but he doesn’t want the label.
Committing means he can’t date other women, and that there will be expectations like:
- You’ll want to meet his friends
- You’ll want him to meet your friends
- You’ll want to hang out with other people
- You’ll want to do more than just have fun (sometimes late at night or around his other social engagements)
He acts like he really likes you when he’s with you, but it can be very frustrating and confusing when he gives you the cold shoulder otherwise.
He’s being clear: he doesn’t want to get serious, so maybe it’s time to listen to him and find someone who will appreciate you!
The timing isn’t right.
Well, that can be a valid excuse sometimes, if he’s going through a divorce, someone is seriously ill, or he knows he’s just way too busy to give you any time.
However, if he has time for fun but not for a relationship, that means it’s not about time.
And when we find something really good, we make time, right?
So whether he’s being honest or using it as an excuse, he’s telling you he’s not available.
He’s working and super busy.
Again, if he has time for fun with you, he has time for a relationship.
Take a look at when he does communicate with you. Is it when all of his other plans fall through?
Is he able to sometimes talk to you during the day when he wants to get together that night?
But then the rest of the time he’s a ghost?
You want to be patient and wait for him, but busy people usually stay that way.
And if it’s an excuse, he’ll always have some kind of “reason” not to commit.
He’s been really hurt before.
And you haven’t?
The truth is, maybe he was hurt so much that he’s not ready. And sometimes an excuse is valid.
But, whether it’s true or not, it means he’s not really available.
If he’s that hurt, you probably don’t want to deal with all that baggage or with him hanging onto his ex.
And if he’s just saying that, he just needed some reason to not commit while keeping you around.
He’s just not sure and needs time.
Think about this: when you like something, do you like it?
Or do you not know?
You either like something or not. You either like something enough to take action or you don’t really care.
If he needs to think about it, you should know you deserve someone who will be excited about you.
He wants to take it slow, see how things go, not use a label…
This means “I’ll drive this car until I can trade up.”
My reaction to this one? I don’t want to be someone’s bed warmer while they’re waiting for someone better to come along.
Men will say all kinds of things so they don’t have to commit. And it boils down to this: if they want to commit, they will.
If they want to keep you, they’ll take action.
And they are telling you either with their words or their actions, so believe them!
But also realize sometimes we get caught up in the game of trying to win them, and that makes us want them more.
Men know this! (Women use it too.)
So if you want a relationship, and he’s not making you a priority and committing, it’s time to decide if you want to stop seeing him and look elsewhere…
…or you could tell him you’re okay with both of you seeing other people. Might be interesting to see what he says to that!
Ultimately, it’s up to you, so go with what your gut says and find a guy who will treat you right.